go camryn go!

i was reading the paper the other day - and i really don't do it often, because the news is
generally all bad and depressing, but this time i came across some words of wisdom.

it seems that camryn manheim (the one who accepted her Emmy award with arm raised high and the proclamation "this is for all the fat girls!") - well, she came to portland to speak to a group of university students who were involved in theater.

her main points during a talk she presented were "who are you when you're not acting?" and "what is going to sustain you as a human being?" the person with the most confidence in life, wins. whether you are auditioning for a part or interviewing for a job, you have to "behave" your way to confidence. a teacher of mine once called this "acting as if it were already true".
well, that is hard for me, because i hate fakers. i don't want to be a fake. i have lost friends because of it, but i just have a hard time pretending to be something i am not.

she mentions that people confused her with "fat activists". now, i myself am a clandestine fat activist, fighting prejudice and challenging it where i find it hidden away and painted as something perfectly acceptable. because it is not acceptable to judge and discriminate against anyone based on appearance. we know that and preach that, as a society, but the last bastion of legal prejudice is fat prejudice. fat people get hired less often than thin people with the same qualifications, and if they do have the luck to get hired, they generally get paid less for the same work. this used to be true of women and minorities in the workplace, but campaigns were mounted against it, and it has gotten better, but has certainly not been eradicated. very few are even mounting campaigns against fat prejudice, but i think the time is getting nearer.

so - she says that her message is a little different. you don't have to love your size, she says. i don't wake up every day and say, i am so glad i have these jiggly thighs and sagging parts and my back hurts and i keep having to buy bigger sized clothing that is overpriced and ugly. no, i don't rejoice in all that, but we do have to love ourselves. we get mad when someone else treats us poorly, but some of us are meaner to ourselves than the meanest jerk walking down the street.

so, why doesn't our society encourage us to wake up every morning and say "i love my body just the way it is today!" because the american economy would out and out collapse if we all did that! the economy is based on making us hate our jiggles and wrinkles and sagging parts and less than perfect features, so that we will be compelled to run out and buy creams and pills and potions and contraptions that promise to "fix" our flaws and make us feel oh so happy. those empty promises don't deliver, but we keep buying and hoping to find that one miracle cure.

it takes a lot of courage and strength to say, i am not buying into that crap anymore. i won't watch it, listen to it, read it, or consume it anymore. i will speak out against it. i will tell the truth. i will love myself and i won't let anyone else tell me what is desirable and beautiful.

they put it out there, but we don't have to buy it. let's boycott the bullcrap.

and my hat is off to camryn! thanks for telling the truth and telling the world to wake up. thanks for reminding us that we have the power to think and feel about ourselves how we wish to think and feel. nobody can insult us without our permission.

and thanks to all the other activists who fight in their own small ways. to my sis and everyone else i have met who reminds me that i am fine just how i am... you go, girls! more power to us all.