bad blogger

i guess you could say i am not the most faithful blogger.  my own sister called me to see if i was ok since i had not blogged for awhile...  i am a procrastinator.  just mopped the floor i have been meaning to mop for a week.  and it is after 11 pm.  my 5 day a week exercise plan is more like 2 or 3 days a week.  when i teach classes at a local college, i wait until the last minute to plan them.  you get the picture.
 
but at least i have marked a few things off of my ever expanding "to do" list.  i did finally ask to go part time at my main job, so i can spend less time commuting and stuck in a cubicle.  i will do some spanish/english interpreting from home to make up for the salary loss.  there is an old folks' home next door to me, so i have thought about volunteering there.  so many elders never see any friends or relatives.  they are literally forgotten in those homes sometimes.
 
anyway, i am sad now because i just casually called my nurse friend whom i have known for years.  we used to have friday night talks and dinners every week at their house.  she is a pediatric neurology nurse and she told me she is very worried about my boyfriend's niece's seizures.  i have never heard this nurse say a negative thing in her life - she is always the optimistic one, saying things will turn out fine.  she is very religious and trusts that God will take care of us.  but this time she sounds doubtful.  i could not ask for details, since my b.f. was sitting right beside me.  he worries so much about his family members, that i just could not tell him what she said.  she felt awful for saying it, and asked me not to share it.  but now i am really worried.  could she die?  a sweet little baby whose parents really wanted her and have done everything possible to give her a wonderful life?  it does not seem fair.  and what if all the seizures have done irreparable damage to her brain?  she used to be alert and doing all the things a 9 month old usually does - now she seems limp and listless.  i somehow thought they would adjust all her medicines and she would be fine - and then eventually grow out of the problem as so many children do.  but i have seen cases where there is permanent damage, and that is so hard to watch... i cannot even imagine how her parents will feel.  all their hopes and dreams for her dashed to pieces.
 
i hate to end on that note, but i really need some sleep.  i have not been sleeping well at all, with one million thoughts and worries plaguing me as i lay in bed and stare at the dark ceiling and toss and turn all night.
 
another week is upon us.  i hope things get brighter.